1)Being loved will make me happy, but you can’t rely on relationships or your happiness.
This is one of the biggest misconceptions about being in love. When you begin the journey of new love there is an illusion that you are happier because of the newness the relationship brings into your life. We love the feeling of meeting someone, the feel good moment of it and the so-called enlightenment of the connection for the ‘new’ love feeling.
However, once the newness begins to wear off, that is when reality enters the picture and you are not feeling that giddiness, the happiness you felt when you first entered into the relationship. Nevertheless, you continue on the path because you are chasing that feeling you had in the beginning of it all.
Interestingly, it is only temporary because you are relying on happiness from an external circumstance when you should be able to rely on that happiness within yourself. When the relationship no longer provides this feeling for you it is because you are forced to come back home to what is inside of you which means YOU are your happiness.
Until you are ready to be with yourself and go within to heal and accept unhealed parts of yourself, you will continue this loop of the false belief of obtaining happiness outside of yourself and the disappointment when it dissipates yet again.
2) Being loved will make me feel whole and complete, but if you have unhealed trauma no relationship can provide this for you.
Believing misconception number two is very similar to the first. This one leads back to unhealed parts of you as well.
When you are pinning your hopes on someone else to make you feel whole and complete, it is unfair to the other person.
If you are in a relationship with someone who also has unhealed trauma, how can they make you feel whole and complete when they are not those things themselves?
It is important to understand that you are leaning on yet another unrealistic expectation which leads to pointing fingers and blaming the other person.
How can you make yourself feel whole and complete?
Heal those parts of you first and eventually, you will find wholeness and completeness was with you all along. Then you are able to develop healthy love relationships based upon the notion of the truth within you instead.
3) Being loved will take away the hurt, pain, anger, sadness that you feel because the truth is that it is imperative that you heal. Otherwise, you are setting expectations for someone else to heal you when you have not healed yourself.
No no, no and no. This is a total lie AND misconception that you tell yourself putting the responsibility on someone else to fix you.
It is not the other person in a relationship job to heal you of hurt, anger, sadness or betrayal in love. It is as if you are punishing the other person for baggage that you are carrying in which you have not been able to release.
You have to take responsibility for your actions when you are feeling these things long before you get into a relationship.
You are carrying these emotions from relationship to relationship because either you don’t recognize that it could possibly be your issue or you know and are still expecting someone else to make it better for you.
Until you come to terms with the fact of the healing that is needed, you will hop into every relationship with the same mindset.
You have to free yourself from the clutches of your own making. Don’t move forward into the next relationship until you have begun to honor what is emerging within you from an unhealed space, be honest with yourself and accept responsibility for yourself first.
On the whole, misconceptions and lies are of your own creation because it is the reality you have created for yourself. As long as you continue to believe the reality you have created, you will continue the cycle of blame.
Break free from the cycle of repeating the same toxic relationship patterns!
Don’t let the unhealed parts of you steer your love life, take control of your unhealed parts instead and learn how to create healthy loving relationships.
Schedule your free, no obligation “Art of Taking Action” Session with me today. Let’s chat, get to know each other and start building towards your health, happy relationship habits.