6 Unhealthy Toxic Beliefs – How Women Can Learn to Self-Love

1) You believe it is okay to settle – A relationship should not be forced, it should come naturally. Therefore, we begin to think about the ‘potential’ of a relationship when they have already shown you who they really are.

 

For instance, we have a tendency to try and find the good in even the worse situations within relationships. As a result, we project on to them a kinder, gentler side of that person hoping that we can fix them. 

 

Unfortunately, this leads to ‘settling’ because you are holding on to those small moments of good that you see in that person.

 

How to overcome it:  In other words, this leads to resentment and you end up putting so much time in trying to get them to love you that you forget to love yourself.

 

Therefore, what you believe that you see in them, is really what you see in yourself. Use that time and effort to invest time in yourself instead of an unhealthy toxic relationship.

 

2) You think it is okay to be controlled – With this toxic belief, I am giving very specific examples of being controlled by a toxic partner.

 

Firstly, your partner twists your words around. Secondly, they blame you for everything. Thirdly, they constantly rehash past arguments or repeatedly threaten to end the relationship. 

 

Most importantly, it is imperative that you recognize these as methods of control and red flags.

 

How to overcome it:  Moreover, this does not mean your partner is madly in love with you and this is their way of showing you that they love you.

 

3) You try to force a commitment – You should not have to force someone to commit to you because if they love you they will want to be with you.

 

How to overcome it:  When you pressure them it is more about wanting them to love you. However, what you really need to understand is the love you believe that you are seeing needs to start with you.

 

4) You do not know your worth – You think that you don’t deserve better, but do deserve better. You are irreplaceable.

 

How to overcome it:  Above all, you have to believe you deserve love and happiness from yourself as well as your partner.

 

5) Inability to be patient and honest with self – You should be asking yourself what you want out of a relationship. 

 

How will that person add to your life? What are your relationship expectations? When you say you are ready for a relationship, are you emotionally unavailable?

 

How to overcome it: As a result, asking yourself the difficult questions will allow you to go within and ask those questions from a place of strength instead of need.

 

6) You tend to place your happiness in the hands of others – This is a number one let down because you feel the need of approval for your happiness from a relationship.

 

How to overcome it:  Importantly, you have to realize that you do not have to sacrifice your happiness for the sake of our partner.

 

In conclusion, ultimately you must learn to think of yourself first. Your mental and emotional well-being is top priority. 

 

Do not sacrifice yourself for a toxic relationship because it will not produce the fruit of our labor. 

 

Moreover, recognize your toxic beliefs as well.

 

For instance, when you cling to old relationship patterns, you will continue to attract the same type of relationships. 

 

Change your relationship mindset and change your life.

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